I know I told that guy of mine I was going to bed after I hung up the phone, but I feel as though I need to post this somewhere. Perhaps I'll put it on Facebook later, but eh...
Anyway I just realized what weekend this was. Kay, flashback to a year ago. Here's this girl. Broken, sad, mad, self destructive (to a point, but still), and not being the young woman she really was. I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure I was borderline hating life at this point, so it was pretty bad.
Inform her that a childhood science role model is doing a lecture at her college.
Things freakin' change.
I invited everyone in my science courses (which was pretty much the same 15 people). I mean, who doesn't want to see the coolest Canadian science reporter (WHO, MAY I ADD, PAYS VIOLIN!) speak about something cool like prions? I don't think I slept the night before the lecture.
It was weird. I didn't expect to get asked when we were going to meet up, whether we were going to dress up, ect ect. I suppose we were really close friends at this point, but it was -who- asked that shocked me even more.
I had been, for the past month and a half, loathing the male population. Okay, not loathing, but wishing they would remember I didn't really want anything to do with them (regardless of how my actions may have said). So when I started getting odd butterflies in my stomach, I knew -something- was wrong (or rather, right?).
Lecture was AMAZING. I could make a whole post on how eye opening and helpful it had been, but that may be for another day, my (lack of) readers. The after snack Q & A, however, was when it all started rolling.
We were bickering about something science again. You know those cartoon characters that always argue but end up liking each other? That's how everyone explained it. For once I was wearing heels, and I was tall enough to be at a more... arguable level. I must of have made some silly face, because he laughed and mumbled something about arguing a lot and how that leads to people dating.
Alright....
It was a weird night. The engineers were setting up their April Fool's prank, the wind ensemble was practicing, and this meant my science friends and my music friends were going to mix. We all wanted to see the prank take place.
We pulled away from everyone and just chatted about how we should keep in touch after moving on to our respective universities and how exciting everything would be. He kept pushing his university on me, and I couldn't help but wonder why. I thought he had seen me as some goofy girl who had big dreams but wasn't on her way to reaching them. I really thought he hated me. He had been so crude with me for weeks until... -that- happened, and he had begun progressively become a sweeter guy.
(Back up further to first year chemistry lab:
Me: What, you wanna come at me bro with your tallness and gingerness?
Him: Do you EVER shut up?!
Me: ... -still has a crush on him-
Forward to second year.)
We finally get to everyone. The engineer students are hoisting a piano with balloons attached to it into the air. My friends from music and science are mingling. My ex is glaring me down as I walk into the bar with this other guy. The same is being done by the guy who had been constantly creepily hitting on me. Girl type friends are giving me strange wondering looks. Gay friend is ecstatic and I don't know why.
Instant panic mixed with endorphins. Why does it feel so normal and comfortable standing beside him? I mean, we stood and sat beside each other in class and it never felt this good. Why did I feel like myself again?
I panicked and, perhaps for the second time that year, ditched him. I saw a friend I had been super close to, gave her a tackle hug, and laughed my face off. My best friends thought I was nuts. My "Bobsy" twin was cackling; she and my best friends were the only people who saw me like that: truly happy.
Him: Is she -always like this? This happy?
Bobsy twin: Well, yes. Only around us though.
He walked me out to my vehicle. And I didn't get his number.
And I beamed the whole night because I was truly happy, and my ex looked like he wanted to choke me. I'm sorry, bro.
Gay friend decided he wanted to do my tarot reading. Turns out something good was going to happen the next night. I shrugged it off.
Cue April 1st.
Music concert. I told this certain guy we were having our last jazz performance ever and actually asked him to come. Mind you, Bobsy and I had always asked him to come, especially for our musical. He never got to come, and I feel so guilty I just only recently saw him play his favorite sport.
He wasn't there (for good reasons that I don't remember) and I was crushed. I had to stop myself: why was I so crushed? Why was I hoping to see him more outside of class?
Concert: over. Cue after party.
Best friend 1: So, did he ask for your number? ACTUALLY, why were you two so close all night?!
Best friend 2: WAIT WHAT
Me: No, sigh I really wish I had.
Best 1: Mutual friends? WAIT TEXT ******! They must have each others numbers, they went to the same high school!
Me: -frantic texting-
Gay Bestie: What are you asking?
Me: I'm going to pretend it's for a study group.
Best 1: But that means you need a study group then.
Me: -whipping up a study group- Oh crap, she just gave me his number.
SEVERAL MOMENTS LATER
Best 1: Your ex is glaring at you! WHAT IS THIS GUY SAYING YOU ARE RE- why are you taking out coins
Me: um... study group turned into HE JUST SAID WE'RE FLIPPING COINS TO FIND OUT IF WE'RE GOING OUT ON A DATE
-whole table goes quiet, all the guys are looking shocked because my ex had to have overheard that-
Best 1: FLIP THE DAMN COIN WOMAN!
And so, coins were flipped.
And I was going out on a date in 25 days.
Who knew a year later I'd be in love with the most amazing guy I've ever met? Who knew a year later I would be getting off the phone with that same silly guy and realizing that he helped me get to where I am now?
Not I, said the Lanie.
