An update of sorts.

Sleep in 30 minutes.
First final (parasitology lab) in 15ish hours.
Boyfriend and best friend come to Edmonton in 18 days.

:)

My heart is happy.

Oh my goodness, my legs are on fire.

So, when you dance a lot of cabaret after a week of missing dance class due to being home, you tend to hurt for the next few days.

OKAY, CATCH UP TIME.

Had my last midterm (virology) last week, on Thursday. ROCKED THAT. Got 10% higher than the class average. Hello, A+. It feels absolutely AMAZING that I've figured out how my brain wants me to study: the old, simple way. Which is good, because in 99.9% percent of my classes I take great notes. Why spend 15+ hours rewriting and studying notes when I can just spend that time studying? -duuuh- Especially after that one immunology midterm... -shudder-

Went home and did mostly nothing. I tinkered with my term paper for physio and half-arsed studied for parasitology. I mostly just ate, ate, ate, hung out with my friends at my college (got punched in the stomach), and hung out with my guy bestie. Who caused many nightmares after watching the whole Marble Hornets/Slenderman first season with me.

Drive up? Horrible. After exactly 3 hours from Edmonton to Valleyview, I was expecting a nice 45 minute speed to home. HAH! Try a 45 km/h TWO FREAKING HOUR drive. Thank you, roads and thank you, first snow. Ridiculous. Three things though:
a) I am the calmest driver ever when my vehicle starts fishtailing on ice,
b) I cannot believe we got home before they shut down HWY 43, and
c) I am so thankful we are alive.

Oh goodness. I got my boyfriend his Christmas gift. Let's just say you shouldn't get something the day it's realeased. GONG. SHOW.

And I guess I've started my Christmas shopping, too. On my small bit of cash, I've been able to get something my Mom will love, half of my boyfriend's gift, and start putting together a little gift basket for my boyfriend's family. I HATE buying gifts because I am so horrible at it, but everyone is reminding me that I am being very thoughtful by doing this. I'll take that as a "good job." (Thankfully, Dad just wants me home, and my best friends are getting cards, since I haven't done that in AGES.)

Oh yeah, cabaret. I apparently do extremely sexy things, by accident, while I dance. Is that a compliment?
We finally finished the choreography to our song, and the last lick of the song just makes -me- sweat performing it. It's a little more sultry than I expected to be, but it still looks good regardless! Our instructor hopes we'll perform it in December, and the musician in me is crying out, urging me to do so. We'll see; I have NEVER danced for people before, and based on her ideas for costume, I am more than a bit nervous for that type of performance.

Also, I have the greatest boyfriend in the world. Have I mentioned that before? Probably, but I think it should be said all the time. I really hope he comes in 12 days. He is
a) a huge inspiration and drive for me to focus on my studies,
b) such a good shoulder to lean on for support (if I could reach it...?), and
c) hilarious.

Seriously, shout out to him. I don't know how he does it, but he sends the simplest texts that always make me smile or laugh. We can't skype (no webcam...), calling isn't exactly the easiest (I'm the only one with a calling plan), and we can't exactly fly back and forth to see each other. But it's almost been 7 months, and everyday (with or without contact) has been amazing.

Gah, now I'm all sad that he's not here yet. Oh well. In his own words:

"You have to be more patient with some things."

Truth'd.

SUPER STRESS.

So, I got my Cell Biology mark back. PLEASE tell me the average low so I did better than everyone else...

I have an interview for the lab of my dreams Friday. Please, please, PLEASE let this happen. I am wanting this more than a lot of things, like food and showers and sleep.

Um, I'm getting put on the bone marrow donor's list. I really want to be there to help someone if I really can.


and AUGH UNIMAGINABLE STRESS STUPID PAPER AND LAST MIDTERM!

-retreating back to the hole that is my room-

You Can Have My Heart/Halloween

I'm just finishing off watching Howl's Moving Castle for the second time, and I just made this startling realization.
The first time I watched it, I was in the state of mind where I hated romance (to a point), and I felt like I didn't deserve any of it.
Well, I cried when it ended. Howl may have come off as a jerk at the beginning, but you started to see the character development. He becomes this strapping fellow that could literally eat your heart. I fell in love with that type of guy. I dunno, I'm blabbering but Howl's that type of guy you want to be with.

And now, I kind of think I've found that. Minus the negative bits (like turning into demon birds).



ANYWAY. HALLOWEEN.

Let me just put it out there that I'm no longer a huge party animal. That's in the past, and I'd rather just forget that happened.

Well, the roommates and I ended up going out Saturday night. A hippie, a pirate, and myself in the good ol' tiger suit. We first started off watching my boyfriend's volleyball game while having a few drinks (mmm, sasparella). We loaded onto a bus, then delved into the night life.

After many high fives and paparazzi pictures (because apparently little asian girls in tiger suits is a great photo op), and running into our old professor's son (the prof that got me into immunology), my one roommate headed home.

That's when the hippie and the tiger took Whyte Ave by storm.

We first ran into a troop as Robin Hood and his Merry Men (which looked EXACTLY like the Stark/Winterfell gang with a random Varys tagging along), and I ended up wooing them with my promises of land when "I returned to my Northernly Kingdom." I wooed them enough to get paid chocolate coins and awesome pictures and high fives.

Theeeen we ended up getting invited to some awesome club, where they gave us tequila. BAD CHOICE. Basically we went to every bar (minus the Black Dog) and at least had a drink at each one.

We wanted to dance, so we thought if we went to the University, we could go dancing at Dewey's. This is where I started drunk texting my boyfriend in sheer excitement of the night, and started texting people in general. To be brief, we wandered on campus drunk until we ended up at Hudson's (yes, another Hudson's) and had jager bombs. ALSO BAD CHOICE.

Well, we drunkenly wandered back onto Whyte where I got these few responses:
1) high fiving me because I was cute/had the best costume ever/I was just epic;
2) Waving because I was adorable;
3) Getting yelled at because pikachus are cute (???);
4) GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL;
5) Hit on (because apparently you can see my chest under a huge tiger suit?) and
6) invited to random bars/shows because I looked like a PhD student.

My roommate thought this was the best thing ever, because I easily blush, can be very shy, and don't like it when guys hit on me and they aren't a certain ginger.

I'm sure I'm missing stories about the Funky Buddha, the hearses, and the Showgirls bus, but those are for another time.

We eventually got home at midnight (We started at 7:30, give us a break), and ended up laying on the floor, basically twitching and giggling. We somehow finished off what remaining alcohol we had left, turned on the oven, grated cheese, and made the BEST NACHOS EVER.

And then proceeded to eat candy, nachos, drink alcohol, and play Mario Kart.

I still won, even though I was the most drunk.



I think it's a success when you make a girl puke from your knowledge of fecal-based knowledge of parasites.

Merry-Go-Round of Life

There is a little girl inside of me who didn't really get to enjoy everything she should of. She got emotionally scarred more than once, her parents ended up in the hospital more than once, she didn't ever really fit in. And sometimes, on nights like tonight, while listening to beautiful waltzes, this little girl comes alive. She wants to be twirled around in a dress, dance and not feel judged for it. Cry tears of pure euphoria because her feet can't touch the ground.

That's probably the one thing I would go back in time and do. I wouldn't be able to change what happened to my parents or to me, but I would go to a time where everything was okay, put on my cute little pink dress my Mom sewed for me before she grew tired and weary, and let my Dad swing me around before his back gave out. I would cherish every moment of that.

I see all those little girls at weddings that get to do just that. I'm just a wee jealous, since the little girl inside wishes things could have been different. I sometimes think that way too, because perhaps the little girl would let me focus more on what needs to be done now. But tonight I'm glad I went through what I did. I learned how to deal with the tough issues early, and now I'm much stronger now. Even though as I type, I'm trying hard not to bawl all over my stupid notes I should be reading.

I'm sure that little girl will one day get her chance to swing around, dress flaring up, the euphoria creeping through every fiber of her being. And when it happens, she won't have to worry about anything bad. I'll make sure she gets her chance to feel that. I promise.


I'm sorry, I'm all emotional and today's just been draining. It feels good to have a cry, though.

-facedesk-

I'm boring.

7 midterms this month, followed immediately by another midterm and a paper.

Out of 8 midterms, I've done 3. 2 on Wednesday.

Wednesday also has a formal "MMI Professor's" night. Time to get my 499 on.

And next week on Monday night, I have a Cell Bio midterm worth 50%.






Anyone else getting the feeling I'm a bit overwhelmed?

This Thanksgiving is shaping up well.

Ahh, I'm finally home! It only took 4 hours, which slightly scares my parents as to how fast I may be driving on the highways, but it's okay. I'm home, and that's all that counts.

My GPS died about halfway home. It was a sad moment, as that thing survived many trips to Edmonton, Calgary, and other weird places not to be spoken here.

My dogs clobbered me when I got home. I wish I could always be so cheerful when someone gets home. Our larger dog started crying; I'm assuming the tears were tears of joy because my face felt like I just had a shower (I don't obviously care I could get numerous parasites from face licking).

What do I do when I get to lay down? Study. I grossed out my Dad about my growing knowledge of parasites and viruses. As if my knowledge on bacteria wasn't disgusting enough... He actually thinks it's kind of cool.

I wrote a Thanksgiving note. I'm glad I did it, because there are a lot of people in my life that currently need recognition on how they've affected me.

Got to play violin today. After a month of not playing, it's weird that my vibrato is slowly growing better, and I'm starting to phrase a lot more noticably when I sight read. I may never understand my cortical maps...

After having a vegetarian potluck, my Mom and I headed to my sister's house, where we spent a lot of time just chatting. I love days like that, because my Mom isn't my sister's biological Mom. A lot of times I wonder how my sister deals with that very fact, but I realize that my sister has inherited my Dad's immense love. Family is super awesome.

Tomorrow I get to eat turkey TWICE! I love extended family.

I have a lot to be thankful for, don't I? :)

Not a lot of things are better than an old stuffed friend.

I decided to wash my old stuffed dog Wrinkles today. I basically panicked for the whole 2 hours he was in the washer and dryer. Now, I know a lot of you are thinking, "You're 20. WTH?" When you've had something almost all your life, and it sits there, gets cried on, travels to foreign countries, and cuddles you like no tomorrow, it has to at least travel with you to your new home. He just sits on my dresser, watching me study, probably judging my eating habits. It's a piece of my old home in my new home.

ANYHOO. I was apparently allergic to my sheets. GUESS WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING ALL DAY? Washing would be more fun if I didn't have to take things down and up two flights of stairs. I'm pretty small, so the sheets/covers/blankets of two beds + little asian girl = FAIL.

Had my first university midterm. Here's hoping I did well, since I had 20ish hours of study time to prepare. Apparently people don't understand some of the easiest concepts in my immunology class. It's ridiculous. If the professor spends 15 minutes of a 50 minute class talking about hybridomas, don't you think it'd be on the midterm? Sheesh.

This weekend I get to go home and spend time with my family. I miss having wet noses waking me up in the morning. I miss Dad taking me for coffee in the morning. I miss Mom yelling at me for no reason, laughing, then tickling my sides until I cry in laughter. We're a tight knit family, so not being with them hurts my heart. The best part about this weekend is we'll be celebrating Thanksgiving for the first time in 2 years. My parents have been called into work both years, so I'm really excited for this. Especially since I've been living off all the frozen food I've cooked up.

Ah, my life is so boring.

It never figuratively rains on -my- parade

Ah, a rainy day is EXACTLY what I needed.

I ended up not getting to bed until 5:30 AM Saturday. I think I'm becoming an insomniac slowly and surely. I don't even know what caused it; one minute I was dreaming and the next I was wide awake. What did I do to pass the time? Look at old pictures from 2005 onwards. HOLY. CANNOLI. I had long, CURLY hair back in high school. I miss it so much now, waah.

Well, I ended up getting quarter to noon and spent the remainder of the day studying and doing questions. Yeah, I'm great like that. Somewhere during that period, my Mom called to make sure I hadn't gotten into any fist fights (no, literally. She was worried I got into a fight on Friday or something because I hadn't called). Then she proceeded to tell me how she didn't want to bring the dogs next visit. Oh Mom, how I adore you.

My roommates and I took up our whole kitchen table to study. You want to eat supper? Close your books and eat at your study spot. It's kind of cute, actually. We're all so serious until someone gets frustrated, groans loudly, and causes the other two to laugh. I love my roomies to death, since we get along so well.

We got extremely bored of studying. I mean, to the point where there were some curses, nodding off, and giving up. Amy wanted ice cream, but didn't have any in the freezer.

So how do we alleviate this problem?

IMPROMPTU DAIRY QUEEN RUN!

We all pile into my Nitro and book it down Whyte Ave towards Capilano Mall. We finally get there and realize we cannot, for the life of us, find the mysterious Dairy Queen we had seen last time we had descended on that area. Kristine comments that there were DQs up Whyte by the university, so we ended up getting a bit lost trying to get back home (ahem, I took the wrong exit at a traffic circle).

45 minutes later, we're waiting for a bus. And it's raining. And cold. Bus finally comes, we hop on, and crowd the very back where we proceed to giggle loudly and try to plan Halloween out.

WELL, turns out Amy and I were thinking different DQs. We end up going to the one at this College complex thinger, instead of the one on campus (which was good, since it's still really cold and rainy). Do try the pumpkin pie blizzard; it is DELICIOUS.

So here we three girls are, walking down Whyte in the rain with ice cream. Obviously we are well aware getting cold and wet does have an affect on one's health, but I'm sure at this point we didn't care. We just wanted to get on a bus, go home, get dry, and get the fireplace turned on. Long story short, we hopped on the next bus going our way, shove past the drunk asians, and get home.

Was it worth the 2 hours to get ice cream?

You bet it was.

And to top it off, I got to FINALLY chat with my boyfriend. He's just so busy lately, gah. Between sports, science, and his apparently REALLY crappy rez mates, he's swamped. And he's not coming home for Thanksgiving. Sadface for me, but I'm glad he at least gets some quiet time to relax and get some studying done.

I, on the other hand, plan to study inbetween getting fat on my Mom's cooking and sleeping on the couch with my dogs. And probably play some piano and violin (which is KILLING ME that I'm not playing at all) to appease my cortical maps, which by now are probably going "AHHH HER MUSICAL MAP IS SHRINKING WHAT IS SHE DOING!" But I think sleeping on the couch with the dogs is priority number one.

Some days just belong to the dogs, after all.

-FACEPALM TO THE EXTREME-

So, you know when you have self realizations/epiphanies that cause you to hit a wall?

That's about where I'm at right now.

I was flipping through my old tweets last night (since I've been unable to fall asleep the past few days) and I stumbled upon a bitterish sounding tweet from December. I kind of don't want to go into ANY detail about it, but basically I turned down something I had wanted for... probably a year then, but wasn't consciously thinking about it/was blinded. And I sat there, realized what I had done,

and cried a little.

Y'know, if I had chosen to go for it then (instead of MUCH LATER AUGH), I'm pretty sure when I got my unofficial transcript yesterday, I wouldn't have been so angry and upset at myself. It would have COMPLETELY OVERHAULED my second year winter semester. I mean, I would have been so different.

And I turned it down. Obviously I'm not worried because I made that decision later on this year (which is now affecting my Fall semester like mad), but I just can't believe how stupid I was.

I'm usually not one for regrets (I don't regret most of second semester, regardless how IDIOTIC I was during that time), and I'm not one to really want to change the past, since it's made me into me. But I honestly believe I would be in a better state mentally (and maybe even physically?) if I had just said yes (in a sense).


Anyway, I'm boring regardless. I basically studied, cooked a roast, froze the leftovers, and studied more. OH WAIT, I got a haircut. -insert weak monotone cheering here-

Oh, and I guess I'm extremely sore from Cabaret class. We started doing our choreography (oh, I know: LANIE LEARNED A DANCE?) to Mya's "My Love is Like Whoa."I'm not sure if my Mom would want to see some of the dance moves. Curious? Youtube 'Simplicity... and Five Chairs' and imagine it much slower, and to said song above.

Well, time to actually get some sleep. :)

New Start, New City, New... Everything.

Well hello blog, I honestly forgot you existed.

Anyway, decided to clean things up and begin anew. I read old posts, and they were honestly kind of... boring/whiny/derp.

I ended up moving in August to Edmonton. Holy hannah, this is definitely hard for me to handle. I've never lived anywhere but my quiet house with the huge backyard. And now I'm the little girl in the big city, not comfortable with driving to new places, not exploring on the weekend like I'm used to, not enjoying nature like I would be back home. It honestly sucks something awful.

It's getting better, though. Thanksgiving break is coming soon, so I shall be heading back home to spend time with my parents, my dogs, my family, and perhaps my boyfriend and his family. So excited!

Oh yeah, boyfriend. It's been 5 months today. I usually don't count, but one of my roommates pointed it out recently. I can't believe how time flies. It seems like yesterday when we went out on our first date. Hm. I honesty miss him a lot more than anyone expected. Well, I suppose when someone causes you to go back to the person you were/wanted to be, you can't -not- miss them. I keep hearing that "L" word, and I refuse to drop it until we're in person. It's there, I'm just a shy little bird that has to have a push to say things like that. (AKA I'm pretty sure I've never actually been IN love and this just gives me butterflies like no one's business).

OH MAN. So I started taking cabaret dance classes. It started off pretty tame: belly dancing techniques (which I got to try out in April), cardio work, etc. THEN WE DID WALL SITS. Normally, I could care less; they're just another way to strengthen my weakened core. But then she kept insisting we do it sexily.

WHAT.

I'm sorry, but I don't think I've ever actually made a point to "act sexy." That is definitely not a facet of my character. And yet, she got us sliding down the wall like we belonged in Girlicious. Then we basically gave a chair what I'm imagining to be a lap dance. I am so out of my comfort zone with this; I'm not a dancer, I'm not a "sexy" person, and I most definitely can't remember choreography to save my life.

I love this. I guess that's why it's called "confident core cabaret."

Hmph, otherwise, my life's been boring. I study all the time (maybe not as much as I'd like), I go to class, I make meals and freeze them.

Oh good gravy, I've turned into a student house wife.


HADSJGFKJGHJG